Lana Del Rey – Born to Die
Feeling chipper? Feeling as though you could take on the entire Universe and it’s wife and still have time to rustle up a Christmas dinner for ten of your nearest and dearest, WITH home made dessert and Come Dine With Me style entertainment (Ed – Oh Lord no!)?
Then make a point of NOT listening to Lana Del Rey’s debut album.
Lana’s debut is a vast, co-dependant doom carnival. Eponymous title track, Born to Die sets the precedent for all that follows. It’s so dark, bloody and beaten, the obvious theatre of the whole affair comes off less Blue Velvet and more Deep Blue Sea (Ed – Which is an astounding film thank you).
There’s only so many tracks about screwed up Lolita tramps getting beaten up and fucked by their emotionally abusive boyfriends that you can hear before you gotta turn around and for someone to put on the Spice Girls.
Remember the late 90s when there was lots of films and music about having a crush on someone, going out with them, breaking up with them and then moving on? Remember Clueless? Remember having FUN?!
Yeah well it’s 2012 bitch. Things have changed. And, by the stars, are they depressing.
I kept listening to this American Gothic inspired diatribe and desperately wanting it to be better than it was. Video Games is the best thing here and everything else is….yeah, shall we put on Spice World now?
My Advice to Lana Del Rey
1. Your reading material needs to encompass more than Bret Easton Ellis novels and the fucking Twilight saga
My Advice to You
1. Just listen to Video Games
2. If you give this to someone as a Valentine’s Day gift, you’re a fucking douche-lord